


when the walls fell

by angstlairde



Series: awakening [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftercare, Aftermath, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Romance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Finn Skywalker, Force-Sensitive Finn, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, In Memory of Carrie Fisher, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Loss of Limbs, Memory Loss, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Multi, Rey Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 02:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstlairde/pseuds/angstlairde
Summary: Poe wakes with a shout, her name on his lips. He lurches forward, he has to get to Rey,Rey, where was she, she was in danger, she-Is leaning over him, concerned, wiping her eyes, and trying not to let him see her tears."Hey, easy, easy," she murmurs, a palm warm on his chest, pushing him back gently. "You're alright, we're okay, easy."Poe swallows, once, twice, and asks,"Where are we?"Rey's hand is soft and warm in his hair when she answers."The Falcon. Hyperspace. Well, we were. I think we dropped out a few minutes ago."A second hand goes to his shoulder, lightly, hesitant."How are you feeling?"He groans.....sequel tobut now it's awake





	when the walls fell

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully now that this is finished and out of the way i can concentrate on my four (?) secret santas holy crap i need to be stopped

The cut on Rey’s arm burns. It oozes and partially scabbed over, and probably infected, but all bacta patches were used on Finn, Rose, and Poe.

Poe.

He’d followed after her, the fool, what was he thinking? Strong as he is, he’s no Jedi. Losing a body part was a best case scenario. Worst case?

Dead.

And right now, he might as well be dead. He is so pale, lying on the hard cot, blood leaking through the patch on his cheek, and soaking the bandages on the end of his arm, the end of his arm with a forearm should be, leading to a hand and fingers. But it was just… gone.

And with it, Rey’s confidence.

One, both the Resistance and the First Order needed time to lick the severe wounds each had given each other. The Resistance is crumbling, and with Leia in critical, Poe was supposed to take charge. Now he is in critical, or close to it, and Rey knows they’re going to look to her for leadership. (She’s not ready.)

Two, she couldn’t protect him. She couldn’t save him. Poe lost his arm because of her, and if he never forgives her, if he wants nothing to do with her, she understands. She’s expecting it. It’s times like these when she wishes she were still on Jakku, and the fate of the galaxy is not on her shoulders alone. She knows what he would say to that, what Finn would say, what Rose, Luke, Chewie would all say. But she also knows that she is the only one that can defeat Snoke, and when the time comes, and the dice is cast, she will face the Supreme Leader alone.

Three, whoever she thought her family was, she was not expecting Han Solo and Leia Organa and - Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, her brother, her enemy. How can she be related to someone so evil? How can that man be her brother? He had taken her memories, she is sure of it, and she wants, she wants, she wants -

A lot of things.

For Han Solo back.

For Leia to be alright.

For Poe to heal.

For her memories.

For the war to end.

For family.

For her family back.

For Kylo Ren to pay for his actions.

Her brother is gone, she is sure, and he will never come back. Ben Solo died the day he massacred the Jedi.

Rey doesn’t think she will, or can, ever sleep again.

Even now, when she closes her eyes, she sees Han dying, and Leia’s ship getting damaged, and Poe screaming, and Kylo, Ben, her brother, her enemy, hurling answers at her, answers she thought she wanted, but isn’t so sure now.

Even now, all she can do is hold Poe’s hand tight in her own, and try to stop the angry, confused tears. All she can do is will Poe to wake up. All she can do is protect her friends, her family.

….

Poe wakes with a shout, her name on his lips. He lurches forward, he has to get to Rey, _Rey, where was she, she was in danger, she -_   
Is leaning over him, concerned, wiping her eyes, and trying not to let him see her tears.   
"Hey, easy, easy," she murmurs, a palm warm on his chest, pushing him back gently. "You're alright, we're okay, easy."   
Poe swallows, once, twice, and asks,   
"Where are we?"   
Rey's hand is soft and warm in his hair when she answers.   
"The Falcon. Hyperspace. Well, we were. I think we dropped out a few minutes ago."   
A second hand goes to his shoulder, lightly, hesitant.   
"How are you feeling?"   
He groans.   
"Like poodoo. My arm -" he lifts both arms and stops, horrified. "My arm -" Rey jumps back as Poe heaves onto the floor. He squeezes his eyes closed and presses his head against the pillow, trying to get his breathing back under control. His arm - he can't think about it or he'll hurl again.   
Rey's back at his side, hand gentle on his forehead, pushing his curls away.   
"Any better?"   
"I'm trying not to think about it."   
There's a smile in her voice when she tells him,   
"That's probably for the best. You've lost a lost of blood, probably dehydrated. We wouldn't want you to hurl again, would we?"   
Poe tries to smile, and nods. He opens his eyes and looks at her for the first time since they were separated. She looks tired and worn, bags under her eyes. He wonders when she slept last.

“How’re you?” he asks, and Rey looks surprised at his question.

“Fine. I’m… fine.” Poe reaches with his right hand and touches the cut on her arm lightly.

“You sure? You seem all shaken up.” Rey is still surprised, like she doesn’t understand his concern.

“I - yes. Fine.”

He doesn’t believe her, but let’s it go. His fingers twitch. There are more important things at the moment.

"Can I," he clears his throat. "Can I get up?"

Rey gives him a look.

"You probably shouldn't. I don't want you to pass out or something."

Poe shakes his head.

"I need to get up, Rey, I - I'm made to move, I can't sit still or I'll go crazy."

Rey nodded.

"Alright." She slid a hand under his back between his shoulder blades and he gripped her other hand tightly. "Ready?" Poe gave a nod. "Let's go," and slowly they got him sitting up. "There we go. Take it easy."

He took several breaths, steadying himself.  Then he gives a nod and he stands up. As soon as he gives the slightest wobble, Rey's left arm is tight around his middle and her right hand is on his chest. Slowly, they make their way down the hall and through the common room.

Finn is asleep, and so is Rose, leaning against his arm.

Rey hesitates and asks,

"Where do you want to go?"

Poe swallows.

"I wanna see the stars."

She seems to understand, because she doesn't say anything, just pulls him towards the cockpit.

Chewie is the only one in there, and he looks at the pair, and makes a sound like a low groan.

"He says he's happy to see you up," Rey interprets. Poe kinda smiles as he sits in the chair behind the pilot's chair. Rey hovers at his shoulder.

"Thanks. Me too."

Then there is silence, the kind Poe is used to, the silence of hyperspace. It's the only kind of silence he can tolerate. He actually likes this kind.   


….

  
Poe wakes up and he is alone. He sits up with a gasp, and Rey's head appears above the copilot's seat.

"I'm here."

What happened in the belly of the beast seemed to have bonded the two of them forever. Poe didn't ever want to be away from her, and this was something he'd have to learn to deal with because in war, one does not get to choose who stays and who goes, who lives, who dies, who tells your story, who lets you be forgotten.

"We're safe."

It was hard to believe that. He felt in his bones that he would never be safe. War did terrible things to a man, things that would never go away, things that changed a man forever.

Rey has climbed out of the chair and is close next to him. She looks frustrated and trying to hide it.

"Rey..." He trails off, a vague question, and twists his right hand so it's palm up. She takes it, hand soft in his and he holds it tight. Poe wants to ask. He wants to ask what happened, what's going on, is she okay.

He doesn't say a word.

Rey swallow, and looks away, can't meet his eyes.

"A lot happened, Poe. I - can't tell you yet." She meets his eyes. "But I will, I swear."

Her fingertips trace across his palm.

"Once we get back to rendezvous, you can go to the medical frigate, and they said they can give you a prosthetic. If you want it," she tacks on at the end, like she hadn't thought about it until now.

Poe lifts his arm to rake a hand through his hair, then stops. There is no hand. His right hand clenches around Rey's.

"I can't fly," he says softly. "I can't fly without it. And I have to fly again, Rey. I have to."

Rey nods, like she expected that. She probably did. She was so smart, his Rey, so amazing. Poe doesn't know how she does the things she does, but he's in awe of them every time.

"How are you doing?"

Poe lifts his shoulders in a shrug.

"Bout as good as anyone, I suspect. Still feel like puking if I think about it too hard."

Rey gives another nod, but her mind is light years away.

"Rey..." He pulls his hand out of her's and lifts it to her face. "You're not okay," he whispers. Rey's mind is pulled out of hyperspace and she looks at him and swallows.   
Her own hands go to his face, and she holds him like that, eyes searching his for something he doesn't know how to help her find. But he wants to. He wants to help her find what she's looking for.

She smiles, sad, and her eyes are bright with tears, the light of the stars shooting past reflected in them. She speaks three words that he knows in his core.

"I will be."

She always is.

But that doesn't mean it's easy.

He gently strokes the thin skin under her eye.

"I want to help," he says, helpless.

Rey's smile becomes just a little bit brighter.

"You already have." She leans forward and presses her lips to his forehead. "Now go back to sleep. We'll be at the rendezvous soon."   
  
....   
  
  
The medics whisk Poe off to medical as soon as the Falcon docks. Finn and Rose are right after him, leaving Rey, Luke, and Chewie lingering on the ramp. Luke nudges Rey gently.

“You should go, too. You need medical attention, and that way you’re already there when they’re released. Go,” he tells her, insistent, but gentle. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, thinking, but then Chewie lays his massive paw on her shoulder and steers her to medical. He growls low and she nods.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she says, absent-mindedly. But Chewie knows she’s still in shock and isn’t leave her until a medic shows up to take care of her. He’s seen shock to many times before to just let it go, and she - she reminds him of Han. Reminds him of the little girl that loved him, and the Falcon, so much.

Rey looks at him suddenly, something flickering in her hazel eyes, bringing her back to life for a moment.

“I am,” she says simply, and Chewie knows exactly who she means, but finds it nearly impossible to believe, but knows it in his heart, has known it since he met her. He makes a half-finished noise, before wrapping her up in his big hairy arms and holding her tight, keening. Rey laughs a little, eyes wet, and fists her fingers in his fur, pressing her face against it, feeling like a part of her just snapped into place. She belongs here, with Chewie. He, at least, she still has. And Chewie doesn’t ever want to let her go, this girl who is the only piece of Han he has left, untainted by the darkside, still as young and optimistic as when she was little.

A medic somewhat hesitantly makes their way towards the pair, and asks,

“Do either of you need medical attention?” they don’t give Chewie or Rey time to answer but continues, “Because if not, I have to ask you to leave.”

Rey untangles herself from Chewie.

“I have to go,” she says. “You can wait for me if you want.”

He nods and barks something that makes her smile. Rey starts to follow the medic, but stops suddenly and calls Chewie.

“Please don’t tell anyone yet,” she pleads, and Chewie promises her he won’t.

He stands outside the med bay and waits.

 

….

 

Rey is released first. They tell her to come back if she experiences nightmares or insomnia, or anything else like that. Too bad she’s already an insomniac and has nightmares. She’s pretty sure most people in the Resistance have nightmares, or insomnia. What else are the medics going to do besides give her meds and she doesn’t want that.

Finn is released second.

He has a bacta patch peeking out of the collar of his shirt, and says,

“Rey!”

Rey hugs him tight.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispers, unable to speak any louder. Finn nods into her shoulder and holds her tight.

“They gave me a bunch of painkillers, but I just want to sleep.”

Then he pulls back with a brilliant smile.

“I have the Force,” he says, barely loud enough for Rey to hear him, but she can _feel_ him, his mind nudging hers like a finger poking ribs. Rey smiles back. He hasn’t quite gotten the finesse down yet, but Master Luke would surely help her best friend.

“I know.”

She offers her hand, and he takes it, and they wait in silence.

Rose is released next.

She a little unsteady, but smiles brightly when she sees her friends.

“I think I took longer than Finn, because they wanted to make sure I don’t have any of the First Order’s drugs still in my body,” she explains, and Rey feels a red-hot surge of rage.

How dare they pump Rose full of drugs? How dare they hurt Finn they way they did, how dare they torture Poe?

She grips Finn’s hand tight, and takes Rose’s and holds it. They wait together, solemnity mixing with happiness.

 

…

 

Finn and Rose had fallen asleep, leaning against Rey, when Doctor Kalonia treads softly into the waiting room.

“Rey?” she asks quietly and motions for her to follow. Rey disentangles herself from between her two friends without waking them, and follows quickly after the doctor. Kalonia is waiting for Rey by a shut door, and opens it as she nears. She hesitates and looks back at the doctor.

“Go in,” she tells Rey, not unkindly. “He’s been asking for you.”

Rey swallows.

“Thank you.”

Kalonia simply smiles, then leaves.

Rey steps softly into the room and takes in the soft orange lights, white walls, and bed with pale blue sheets. A man is sitting with his back to the door, bent over, like he was leaning his forearms on his knees. He isn’t wearing a shirt, and she sees scars crisscrossing his back, shiny and shade lighter than his skin. One is round, and puckered, like he was shot there. He probably was.

She steps closer.

“Poe?”

He doesn’t answer, but she feels relief radiating out from him, and want - he wants her closer, so she comes, until she is right behind him, and touches his shoulder lightly. Poe flinches, and Rey jerks her hand away.

“Don’t go,” he says, hoarse. She swallows again, and lays a hand on his shoulder more firmly. He doesn’t flinch this time. Rey angles herself so she can see his profile, and realizes he _is_ leaning on his forearms.

Poe’s staring at his hands, one flesh and blood, the other, metal and wires. She moves slowly, like he’s a wounded animal, kneels in front of him, and takes his hands. Poe jerks when she touches his prosthetic. Her thumbs are soft on his knuckles.

“I can feel you,” he says, low, and for the first time, meets her eyes. He’s conflicted, and there’s a crease between his eyes that she wants to smooth away.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, wanting him to tell her, please. His lips part, like he’s going to say something but he stays silent for a beat. Then,

“I don’t know. I feel… strange. I dunno. It’ll probably pass.” Rey stays silent, waiting. He takes a breath. “It’s just - I was getting used to, ya know, missing half my arm. But now - I can feel again. I have weight on this arm, I -” he flexes his hand, metal clicking. “Now I gotta readjust myself.”

He looks at Rey. He reaches with his right hand, his flesh hand, and touches her cheek.

“How’s Finn and Rose? How are you?”

“Finn is feeling better. He’s going to have something exciting to tell you. Rose is… still shaky. I don’t know what they did to her, but… all of them are going to pay for it.”

Poe nods once in agreement.

“And you?”

Rey lifts a shoulder.

“I dunno. I think I’m still in shock.”

Poe cups her face in both hands, and the metal is warmer than she anticipated.

“I trust you,” he says, insistent, like he’s afraid she won’t believe him. “Whenever you’re ready. I trust you.”

 

….

 

Rey wakes silently. Waking up from nightmares for her was nothing like in holos. She didn’t sit up with a gasp, or wake screaming. Not usually, anyway. She wakes quickly, silently, in a cold sweat. She swallows twice, trying to work moisture back in her dry mouth. Poe stirs next to her, and she sits up carefully. He didn’t often get good sleep. She didn’t want to ruin this for him.

Rey kicks her legs over the side of the narrow cot that could barely fit two people, and rubs her face. Dreams like that always leave her feeling frustrated, emotionally drained, and wanting more sleep.

It was another half-memory, like she was watching a grainy old holo.

_Han Solo was in it, much younger than when she knew him, with dark hair and a comfortable smile on his face. There was a girl on his back, with a bright smile, and hair tied back in three buns Rey knew all too well. There was a boy, too, who looked several years older than the girl, with thick dark hair that covered his forehead, and a great smile on his face, and was leaning against Han’s leg.. They were standing on rock, the sun in there eyes, looking at something Rey couldn’t see. Han was pointing._

_“See, Sunshine? That’s ours. Betcha like the looks of that tree, buddy.”_

_And then it changed, and the little girl was sitting in her mother’s lap. It was General Organa, but much younger, still beautiful as ever, not as weighed down but the burdens of the galaxy. She was pointing to a hologram._

_“That’s where Uncle Luke is taking Ben,” Leia said, and the girl reaches toward the planet._

_“Can I go, Mommy?”_

_Leia smiles._

_“When you’re bigger.”_

_It changed for the last time, and the little girl, a little older - Rey - was crying for her family to come back, and this time, Rey saw someone walking away, tall, dark hair, dark shirt._

_Her brother._

Rey rubs her face again. As frustrating as it was not knowing her family, it is even more to get half-memories, and memories of memories.

Poe stirs again, and sits up slightly.

“Rey?” he asks, groggy. “Everything alright?”

Rey looks at him, and touches his jaw.

“I know my name,” she says and he sits up farther, confused and intrigued.

“You do?” He is much more awake now. Rey nods.

“Yes.” She hesitates, looking away, then looks back at Poe. “It’s Solo.”

Poe doesn’t say anything at first; his mind is working to piece it all together. He’ll get it in a moment. Then he looks at her and smiles, brilliant, and shining.

“I’m glad.”

Rey shoots forward and throws her arms around him in a hug. Poe is surprised by such a gesture - she can tell - and is knocked back by the force of her. He wraps his arms around her waist and presses his nose into the crook of her next.

She lays her head on his shoulder and looks at him.

“You know you’re my family, right?”

Poe’s smile only gets brighter.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I know. And you’re mine.”

Rey smiles, feeling lighter than she had in awhile.

“Even before I knew my blood-family. That’s why I had to rescue you.”

Poe reaches and pushes a strand of hair off her face.

“I know. That’s why Ren captured us. He knew how much you cared for us.”

The mention of Kylo Ren stops Rey in her tracks, and she looks away. Poe frowns.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She hesitates.

“You don’t - you don’t care that _he’s_ my brother?”

Poe looks at her curiously.

“Do you think he’s your brother? I mean, do you think Kylo Ren is the same man Ben Solo used to be? Because I don’t. Ben was my friend. Kylo Ren tortured me. I think that says something about how much he’s changed.” He touched her chin, wanting her to look at him. She does. “But whatever you believe about him, I still - care about you.” Rey had a feeling he was going to say something else. But she shakes her head.

“I don’t know what to believe.”

Poe nudges her nose with his and kisses her cheek.

“That’s okay.”

Rey doesn’t go back to sleep that night; there’s too much for her to think about. As soon as first light breaks through the curtains, Rey tosses the sheets back and gets out of bed. It’s time she does something she should’ve done a long time ago. She dresses quickly, dropping her pyjamas in a pile at the foot of the bed, and puts her lightstaff across her back. Then she presses a kiss to Poe’s cheek and leaves.

Leia Organa should be awake by now. If not, Rey will let her be, but she needs to speak to her. Leia had woken up almost three days ago, and she is still weak, but the doctors called her stable and said she has good chances. She has to be okay.

Rey reaches Leia’s quarters before she knew it, and paused at the door, letting a question seep inside for Leia to feel.

The door slides open.

Leia is propped against pillows, and when Rey looks her in the eyes, there are tears there, and a bright smile. She holds her arms out.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Sunshine,” she says, and Rey goes to her mother.

"How did you know?" she asks. Leia smiles, sadder.

"A mother always knows, darling."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I KNOW THEY STILL HAVE ACTUALLY KISSED IM MAD AT ME TOO


End file.
